Timothy Branch

Pain heals.  Chicks dig scars.  Glory lasts forever.  ~Author Unknown

Town:Avon, CT

Position:Wing

Age:36

Height/Wt:6'1"/195

Occupation:Actuary

College:UCONN

Years Playing: 6/first season with the Grey

Previous Clubs: UCONN RFC, Princeton Athletic Club

Bio: Tim is new to the Grey and brings a lot of youth and speed...as well as a somewhat unique sense of humor...read on...(the editor is not reponsible for the following content) "The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."

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