The Hourglass

February 6, 2001

A Publication of the Connecticut Grey Rugby Football Club
Turd Ferguson, Editor

Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

ANNUAL AWARDS BANQUET

The 2000 Grey Annual Awards Banquet was held on Saturday, February 3rd, immediately following the sad news that Phil has predicted another six weeks of winter – what a good reason to drink heavily. Anyway, the annual event was a little sparse this year probably due to the fact that the XFL had their debut game and many Grey decided to stay home to watch. That or several of the more noticeable Grey are still in hibernation. For those that did attend it was once again a very memorable night – and, if there is anyone out there who remembers most of it, please call me as some of the events are a little fuzzy. Only 36 or so Grey in attendance and even though the numbers were a little lower than banquets in the past it was still well attended with many of the more colorful characters present. The Waverly Tavern was once again the venue and I have to say that the food and surroundings are top shelf. Word is that we have booked the place next year but moved the date up to the usual Saturday night before the superbowl. The highlight of the evening was the awards – well, isn't that what we call the damn thing! A very nice job again, by Bert who did a great job creating this year's awards – a plaque with the Grey blue background patch and a nice nameplate with the award category underneath. Anyway, this years awards were presented to the following:

President's Award: Elton "Bud" Harvey
Captain's Award: Don Brancard
Founders' Award: Jim Facey
MVP Forwards: Ed Carr
MVP Backs: Tony Johnson
Freight Train: Mike Guzzio
Rugger Hugger: Kathy Carr
Mace Comen Award: Steve Jones

A special recognition award was also presented by Premier Jorgensen to Sandy Woodard who for many, many, many years has served the Greys in various positions and responsibilities and as one of the original founding members (as if to say there are some un-original founders). This was followed by Sandy's acceptance speech and a little history of the Grey that resulted in an immediate increase in the sales of single malt at the bar. Awards were followed by REAL awards and then dancing (drinking is understood to have occurred continuously). Once again, and this is where the fuzziness comes in, there was a large pile of shoes that developed in the center of the dance floor sometime during the late evening – what it represented and how it got there is still being investigated. The bash broke up sometime before Sunday morning and it appears that all had a pleasurable time. A special thanks to all of the Executive Committee who had a hand in the event planning and decoration.

2001 SPRING SCHEDULE

The slate of games for this spring is surprisingly complete and it looks as if we are on the way to playing what could easily be classified as the "Super-League" of Old Boys Rugby. Our new Match Secretary, Mike Guzzio, has done a stellar job in locating and locking in some really good teams to play this coming season. At this time the schedule is as follows:

QUAD RUGBY MATCH

On Saturday, January 27th a contingent of Grey players accepted the challenge from Al Steiger to play quad rugby (wheelchair rugby) against his team The Jammers in Farmington, Connecticut. As if we didn't have enough of a problem getting stomped on by functional bi-pedimentary assemblies of aged rugby studs, we really had it handed to us by a very talented and gifted group of fine athletes. To summarize up front, the Grey were thumped 54 to 30 – with each score counted as 1 point. Yes, they crossed the goal 54 times which is just slightly more than the Dinos did to us last May. Although the score was lopsided, it was a real treat to try to match up against the Jammers and trying to negotiate wheelchairs in and around the court while at the same time trying to pass or catch the ball. Some Grey even have a hard time staying upright as a few found themselves sprawling on the floor after tipping over their chairs – some more than others. All in all it was a real learning experience and as a follow up to this effort, the Grey have agreed to help out the Jammers with practices and an upcoming Regional Tournament that is scheduled for Saturday, February 10th and Sunday, February 11th. Al Steiger is looking for several Grey who wish to help out for 2 to 3 hours during this tournament and has asked that you contact him (860) 520-7354 work or (860) 693-0240 home if you can help. There are quite a few Grey already signed up and your assistance is greatly needed. Hopefully, this association with the Jammers will continue into the future as some of the Jammers have agreed to come watch one of our games this coming spring. Also, they hold practice on Tuesday evenings in Farmington from 7:30 to about 9:30. If you wish to help out at practice call Al for details and directions.

SIX NATIONS RUGBY

Once again it's time for the round robin of European rugby and you can watch it at Anna Liffey's, the home pub of the New Haven Old Blacks RFC. The games started on February 3rd and continue every other weekend from then. Costs to see the games are $10.00 at the door and the directions are as follows:

I-91 North or South
    - Take Exit 3 (Trumbull Street)
    - At end of exit, take left at light onto Orange Street
    - At first light, take right onto Grove Street
    - At first light, take right onto Whitney Ave (Bruegger's Bagels on corner)
    - Anna Liffey's is 4 or 5 doors down on right
    - Just 30 minutes from everywhere.

Coldest Coors Light in the country, Best Pint of Guinness outside of Ireland, tastiest Tullamore Dew available, Irish Breakfast to cure that painfully normal heart-rate, Bayer Aspirin on demand, beautiful wait-staff (male and female), hard to get kicked out (Nipper). 17 Whitney Avenue, New Haven, 203.773.1776. Visit www.annaliffeys.com for more or www.nhrugby.com.

AROUND THE FIELD

So, there are six more weeks of winter. That means winter will end exactly one week before our scheduled spring practice. That means I have exactly 42 days to try to get in some semblance of shape so that I can at least fit back into my game shirt and shorts. Let's see, with about 2 inches too many in the seat and about 15 pounds more now than at the end of last season when I knew the shirt last fit, that means I have to lose exactly 0.28 inches and about 2.13 pounds per week. With about 30,000 calories per pound, I will have to run about 200 miles on the treadmill – where one mile equals 150 calories burned. Two miles on the mill takes about 20 minutes so this will require a regimen of running 4.76 miles per day OR about 50 minutes on the mill. Taking into consideration the condition of my running shoes, my present physical state and the amount of effort required to complete this task, I have decided to pour another martini – three olives, open another bag of Frito's, turn on the basketball game and call Matt Godek to order the 38 inch shorts and a 48 inch jersey.

The following person has won the Bet-When-Chicky-Gets-Engaged contest: Seegar whose guess "not in this millennium" was correct when one considers the statement was made in January of 1999.

Place your bets now for the Bet-When-Chicky-Gets-Married contest that started on Saturday. Some of the options still available are:

- When I'm dead and buried
- When hell freezes over, thaws and refreezes
- When monkeys fly out of my ass
- The day Meg gets her pistol permit
- The day after Chicky gets his divorce from Trunksie

Sandy Woodard has stepped down as Treasurer after many, many, many years at the position. Now this appeared to be a noble gesture as one might think Sandy just wanted to pass the reins over to a more youthful member. But, based on the new fur sported by Kaye at the recent banquet – questions have been raised. An audit is scheduled for this Friday.

In the "What Are They Doing Now" category we have the request as to what one of our long time, long ago players, John Marinaro is up to. Since no one has actually seen or heard from him over the last five years after he moved to California, we have made the assumption that he is still a loud mouth idiot, pretending to be a rugby player, crying a lot and pissing off just about everyone he comes in contact with. Where else would someone like that fit in but California????

HOW DO THEY SURVIVE

Here's a short story about an intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" 'Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Once again, we are opening up the Hourglass to anyone who has any legitimate complaints, suggestions or just observations and feels the need to have this presented in a readable and intelligent format for all members. Anyone with anything relatively pertinent to the on-goings of the club or its members is encouraged to write to the Editor. We would like to remind you though that any dispersions cast on the Editor, his articles, skills or spelling will result in immediate retribution and literary castration.

And, finally, the number one song this week in West Virginia is: "You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly".