The Hourglass

November 13, 2000

A Publication of the Connecticut Grey Rugby Football Club
Izzy Mandelbaum, Editor

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe,
and it has a longer shelf life." – Frank Zappa

GREYS GET A GAME – LOSE TO WHITE PLAINS

The Grey finally got a game on Saturday, October 28th against White Plains at the Wallingford PNA field. Now this wasn't the team we had originally scheduled for that date and even with some creative working of the phones, the dual match against Long Island had become a round-robin that would include White Plains as the third team on this Saturday. But, the cold winds were blowing, an ominous sign, and even though there was mention of 18 confirmed Lobsters for the weekend, in actuality there were even less. By game time – well, by what was passed onto the Grey as game-time, 12:30, there were numerous White Plains players, and a smattering of Grey – but not quite a team. As for Long Island, well it's hard to say but after the day was over, I was fortunate enough to meet with one of the two Long Islanders who came up and filled in on the White Plains side. I can't remember exactly the name (Eric?) but there were two and I am making note of it here to prove to the rest of the Lobsters that you were represented. Anyway, it came down to a dual match anyway with the Grey pitted against White Plains. Now, for those of you who don't know about this White Plains side, I can put it quickly into perspective by stating that they were the Over-35 champions at Saranac Lake this past summer. Oh, there's plenty of more accolades that I don't need to mention which would once again, prove their ability to be a very strong and worthy opponent. The questions was, will the Grey be worthy opponents? The first period proved that the Grey had some basic problems – like mastering the basics. Rucks resulted in a White Plains player squirting through the Grey pack and running numerous yards that resulted in a Grey ball deep in our own end of the field. I can't tell you how many of these near-misses we fielded but there were plenty and eventually, things don't always go our way. White Plains was able to tally two tries for long distances as a fine backfield took full advantage of our weaknesses. What effort the Grey did muster was spent on tackling long bursting runs by White Plains players deep in our own end of the field. Although there was plenty of scoring already, there could have been a few more tries if the Grey did not make some effort on defense. The period ended 10 - 0 in favor of White Plains. The score really wasn't that bad as you read this but in reality, the Grey were really fortunate it wasn't wider. The second period was more like the first. Eventually, White Plains was able to create the mismatch and scored two tries. Both conversions were wide (or short) and the period dragged into a 20 - 0 lead. Now, this score was more indicative of the game than was previously presented. In the third period, the Grey showed a little more spark, you know, like when you know you only have two more spoonfuls of peas and if you really eat them fast, you get the whole thing over with but at the same time actually eating them? Anyway, the Grey were able to tally a try by Mike Longo (but, since Mike isn't a regular player, the score was given to Jim Facey) in the corner. A remarkable kick by Don Brancard from about 40 meters out was good and the Grey were on the board but down big 20 - 7. But, this was the mother lode and the Grey were unable to duplicate this effort, in fact it only served to piss White Plains off who then responded with a try and conversion of their own to end the game 27 - 7. All in all, it was a well played game and in defeat, the Grey still had a reason to feel proud – no one was kicked out of the game and the comments to the ref and field chatter was held to a minimum (amazing what happens when a certain fullback is absent). Man of the match was awarded to Kevin "Caveman" Conners.

GREYS LOSE SEASON FINALE

The Grey lost a hotly contested match on Saturday, November 4th against the New York Athletic Club Classics at Traver's Island. The game was sort of like rugby but without a few of those more demanding feats such as kicking, contested line-outs and strong set scrum pushing. These are the "Over-40's" rules and although they did change the make up of the game, the problems that plagued the Grey this season didn't. As usual, long breaks by the opposition followed by a lack of tackling resulted in several tries. Unable to accurately describe the true sequence of events, I can only summarize the highlights of the game. Three periods, a good Grey side, lots of tries against us, few tries (like one) for us and stupid, stupid rules. Final score is still a mystery but it could have been something like 20+ for NYAC and less than 10 for the Grey (and that's being optimistic). Once again, the lone try was scored by Mike "I'm between teams right now" Longo but since he isn't a true member of the Grey, the try was awarded instead to Dan O'Brien. Man of the match was awarded to Kevin Trammel and Bob Casey was listed for honorable mention, we already honorably mentioned Longo.

ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING

The 2000 CT Grey AGM is scheduled for Sunday, November 19th and will be held at the Flynn Barn in Wallingford. Directions are as follows:

From the North: Take I-91 south to Exit 14 East Center Street. Make a right at the end of the ramp on to East Center Street heading towards Wallingford (west). You will continue on East Center Street to its intersection with South Elm Street. There are a number of stop lights between the highway and South Elm, not all of which are in use so counting is problematic. So if you reach Route 5 you have gone too far – turn around. Make a left onto South Elm. Go through the 1st stop sign and look for a white farm house with a red barn on the left. # 236. Look for Sylvan Ave. on your right. We are directly across the street from that street. If you go by the BC Bailey Funeral Home, you have gone too far and turn around.

From the South: Take I-91 North to Exit 13, this is the left hand exit. At end of ramp take a right on to Route 5 North. At 1st stop light make a hard right on to South Elm Street, there are a couple of mini marts there. Follow South Elm through 1 stop sign, go past the BC Bailey Funeral Home on the left. #236 is on the right, directly across the street from the intersection with Sylvan Ave.

From North or South on Merritt Parkway: Take Exit 64 and proceed as if going to the Old Dublin Pub f/k/a Kenny G's, that is the place where our parties are after the games. Continue on across the RR tracks and across Route 5 onto Center Street. Go up the long hill, through intersection with Main Street, at the top of the hill (Post Office is on the right) to the next light. Make right on to South Elm Street. Go through 1 stop sign, #236 is on the left, at the intersection with Sylvan Ave.

The meeting will commence at 2:00 and it has been requested by some of the more undernourished members that everyone bring an appetizer for sharing (no, Ronco, mustard is not an appetizer). It has also been determined that all are requested to wear a silly shirt (looks like I'll be making a call to Bob Bates for a loaner). Also, please contact T. Flynn to let him know how many of you are coming.

This year will be a real event with so many events on the dais. There will be a recap of the past year – two opposing views, one from the Captain and one from the Match Secretary. Also, food and drink (well, dogs and beer) will be served and we will be hanging the Match Secretary in effigy – ("Effigy" is the name we have recently given to the back-room at the barn). And, we will toast the President, Dean "High Britches" Jorgensen, whereby we will lock Dean in the barn, torch the place and then call 119 - the dyslexic emergency phone number. Guzzio has offered to bring the marshmallows while we wait. Remember, this is the time we elect the new officers for the upcoming year. So, if you're a little peeved about the schedule this past season or if you're tired of feeling like you're listening to Tony Blair at board meetings and if you are tired of reading such negative views in this newsletter, then get down there and vote. (Just kidding on that last one.) Absentee ballots from Florida will not be accepted and it is requested that you do not bring pets or firearms.

AROUND THE FIELD

The awarding the Man-of-the-Match to Kevin Conners after the White Plains game is seen as a real tribute to one of our newer members who after a long hiatus has decided to return to the game and devote more time and effort on the field of play. It's a real treat to have someone of his caliber come out and play with the Grey. Kevin's award was based primarily on his ability to run down, from behind, a White Plains player and make a try-saving tackle within the Grey 22 meter line (even though there were four or five other Grey who did exactly the same thing earlier in the game). What a feat for someone who has his knee taped tighter than a chastity belt on a teenage Greek girl with four older brothers. With this amazing display of speed, Kevin has been nominated as the Grey's representative in this Thanksgiving's Five Mile run in Manchester. Kevin has also been entered as the Grey's rep in the 2001 West Hartford soapbox derby, the Preakness, and the America's Cup.

As if the casual observations of one Mike Guzzio haven't resounded many times in this newsletter, we have one more tidbit from the drink-up at The Old Dublin following the White Plains game. After several minutes discussing the game situations with Captains Kerr and Facey in close companionship with Mike Longo, Guzzio had to leave and take his place next to the bar where he commented to a few of the more upstanding Grey whom he looks up to, why he left the group. "I thought I was with the cast of Under the Rainbow." The part of Mike Longo was played by Billy Barty.

The planned festivities that were discussed and approved on prior to the White Plains/Long Island round robin weekend were as follows: Beer at the field (four 30-packs) and hot dogs (approximately 120 plus rolls and condiments) followed by dinner for about 60 persons at The Old Dublin. Now what happens when the slightest bit of confusion is introduced into the plans – like say, a whole team decides not to show even though there was confirmation of 18 players the Wednesday prior to the game? Well, let's just say "what do you do with 120 hot dogs?" No need to ask about the beer. So, it was decided that during the AGM on November 19th, there will be plenty of hot dogs for everyone. Based on past attendance that's about 12 hot dogs per person. Four words of advice, "Come early, eat often." Sorry Ronco, no burgers.

The recent loss to the NYAC Classics is a real example of what can be done when pomp and haughtiness rule the game. As if the rules of the game aren't confusing enough – that with the changes that take place each year. This game was one where the rules were adjusted to take into consideration the feeble nature of the over-40 Classics. Now, I am going on what I've heard second or third hand here so don't hold me accountable for specific errors in the definitions of the rules. To begin with, there was no kicking outside the 22 meter line – no need to spend too much time recovering kicks and opening up the field. Also, there was no crashing on sets – this might result in one team gaining an advantage from a larger and more fit pack. Then, there was no lifting in the line outs – this prevented the technique savvy forwards from stealing each and every lineout. Although these were played by both teams, they did drastically change the climate of the game – a loss for the Grey. Now, we have also learned of several other rules that the Classics play by. First, you can only wear imported lederhosen – not domestic. The tampon of choice is OB and only real feminine hygiene products are permissible. Finally, there is no tackling! A player must give up possession of the ball when an opponent is within ten meters of him. The ball carrier must fall to the ground and cry mercilessly while tossing the ball high into the air. Afterward, the ball carrier (or former ball-carrier) must cry incessantly to the ref that he was illegally tackled – the opponent did not wrap! We hope that these modifications make it to the USARFU annual meeting for consideration for next year's rule changes.

It has been suggested that we honor one more of our lost comrades in Grey with a special recognition award that will be presented to one of the Grey who has demonstrated abilities far and above those of mere mortal men. The presentation of the John Marinaro memorial award will be made to the member who has done the most to really piss off just about everyone on the field of play (and off too). We have asked that you consider your nominations for this year's Annual Awards Banquet and submit the name of the Grey you feel is most deserving of this award. Please limit your lists of nominations to no more than 10 people.

Jon Yates, Chicago Tribune Staff Writer, November 4, 2000 – They tried getting some fresh air, but the windows would go down only halfway. So the couple took their Ford Expedition to a Carol Stream dealership on Thursday, figuring the SUV they had bought days earlier from a rental company had a mechanical glitch. But the windows weren't the problem – it was the marijuana stuffed inside the doors. After fishing out a 2-pound bag from the passenger-side door, mechanics called police and then peeled back the plastic side panels and foam seats. By the time the couple returned hours later to reclaim the vehicle, investigators had found 49.3 pounds of pot in their SUV, apparently stashed there by drug traffickers who abandoned their booty before delivery could be made. "They were shocked," said Tony Renello, service director at Joe Cotton Ford, where the couple had taken the vehicle. "The wife was pretty upset." On Friday, the SUV sat in the dealership's service area, emptied of marijuana and stripped clean by mechanics and investigators. The side panels rested on the vehicle's roof, the stereo on the floorboard. Employees at Joe Cotton Ford had already nicknamed the vehicle. "We're calling it the 'Bob Marley Edition,'" said Kidd Altergott, the dealership's truck manager. We didn't even know that Guz had his car stolen. It also explains why so many spaced-out Californians were seen ripping apart the door panels on their new cars now that they found out the reason why they only go down half-way.