CONNECTICUT
GREY
RUGBY FOOTBALL CLUB
~ est. 1979 ~
Mountain Mist Outdoor Center
Meriden, Connecticut
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~ est. 1979 ~
Mountain Mist Outdoor Center
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The Hourglass March 2, 2000 A Publication of the Connecticut Grey Rugby Football Club "When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy." ANNUAL AWARDS BANQUET The 1999 Annual Awards banquet was held on Saturday, February 12th and for those of you who missed it, it was a hoot! Oh, of course there was the usual cocktail social and the buffet style dinner with some cake and all for dessert but the dancing and drinking that followed is, well, another chapter for the book. Special thanks to those persons involved in the organization of the event especially for the great job by Bert Romeo on the awards and decorations. Although the turnout wasn't as large as the 20th Anniversary Banquet last year (yeah, I know this is confusing – so is the millennium) it was still well attended with almost 50 persons in attendance. The food was excellent and, of course, there was ample drink for the lengthy open (beer) bar. The highlight of the event was the awards for the past year and below is a list of the award recipients:
One special event was the actual awarding of the 1997 awards by ex-president Tom Flynn who finally remembered where he had sent the plaques to be engraved and bestowed the belated awards on the appropriate recipients. Now that Tom has given out these awards, has stopped renting rowboats and dating tattooed women, I have little if anything to write anymore. Then again, the year is young and Tom still calls what he does "rugby" so there's still some fodder. Following the formal awards, the tag team of Turd Ferguson and Courageous Cat presented the real awards to those deserving members who had the misfortune of screwing up royally in some form or another during the past year. Unfortunately for those of you who were not able to attend this year's banquet, these awards will remain a mystery – even to those of you who received awards and don't yet know it. With the completion of the awards ceremonies, the Grey then settled down to another rendition of "Dance Fever." Yes, the dance floor was packed and the crowd was soon clapping to the quick steps of Mean Dean da Dancin' Machine! He certainly is a white boy! As if the show by Deano wasn't enough, I am still trying to piece together the meaning of the "Shoe Dance." Now, I remember distant Friday evenings in Allentown, music by Black Sabbath, something called Orange Sunshine and some wild dancing under a space blanket, but, I just can't remember exactly what in the hell that shoe dance was all about. However, I do believe there is a relationship there. If anyone has a rational explanation, please call me. I hope to god that wasn't videotaped or none of us would be able to run for public office – or adopt children. Must have been something in the beer. By the way, who was that person who was humping the pile of shoes? We have also come to the conclusion that Ann Scan has definitely reached the higher plain when she starts doing pushups. She's a shoe-in for the Jack Palance award in 2000. And, the question on everybody's mind was, "where is Meg?" The Norwich police have been asked to drag the river. Sorry to say the evening did have to come to an end and I can guarantee that the drive home was one not remembered by anyone. Once again, thanks to all who made this such a great evening. SPRING SCHEDULE The slate of games for this spring has been pretty much completed and thanks to the new match secretary, Chris Rose, we should be able to play most of the games and end the season walking - and eating solid food. The games and events are as follows:
Please note the game on April 22nd against the Old Utrecht Students, a touring side from Holland (yes, they will be required to wear wooden shoes and those silly white, winged hats) and an assemblage of friends for the Toronto XL's (we'll probably need a win at this stage of the season). This is Easter weekend and we will need to secure enough Grey to make a match out of it. Plans at this time call for a Friday evening drink-up/welcome at the Old Dublin followed Saturday morning by games with a pig roast (possibly) at the Old Dublin in the evening and a Sunday morning brunch/drink-up. Also, since Friday is a holiday and we have in the past been in Baltimore that day, there is a proposal to have another Grey golf outing. Any interested players please contact Tony Johnson. SIX NATIONS UPDATE For those of you who need that rugby fix at this time of the year, we are pleased to announce that you can watch the Six Nations (formerly Five Nations) at the Playwright in Hamden. The Playwright is on Whitney Ave (north off the Merritt). Entrance is $20, as required by Setanta Sport – one, two, or three games is the same price. Playwright can be reached at 287-2401. Games generally start at 9:00 a.m. Call for exact times. Remaining schedule is as follows:
GREYS ON FILM Ed Carr has found the long-lost video of the Grey vs. Belfast Perennials from 1998 (a decisive Grey victory) and Dean Jorgensen has a copy of the Grey vs. Oadby Wyggestonians (a decisive draw) from, well, a long time ago. The idea here is to have copies made of each game and offer these collector's items for sale. We want to know if there is any desire to have copies of these games made on tape and offered for sale to club members. Please contact Ed Carr or Tony Johnson and let them know if you would like to have a copy of one or both of these games. FALL TRIP TO MONTREAL The polls are in and the results are that there is an overwhelming desire on the part of most of the club membership to take a fall trip to Montreal for a weekend of fun and possibly a game even. This now means we have to get people together to get this organized. We are asking that anyone who wants to assist or even take a lead role in this venture contact Dean or one of the Exec's. Realizing there is still some time before the fall comes, this isn't something that we want to drag on until August before plans are made and finalized. Remember, you all wanted to go (well, most of you anyway) so let's help out and get this off the ground. CALL FOR TEAM PICTURES (AGAIN) Due to the overwhelming response in last month's newsletter asking for team pictures of the Grey, It is safe to say that the choices have been narrowed down to one of John Kerr holding a burnt hamburger or hockey puck – we can't make out what the object really is. Seriously folks, doesn't anyone have any good team pictures? You mean to tell me we are just all a bunch of idiots foolishly posing for pictures all this time while people click away on cameras with no film in them???? I used to pull that one at weddings – a real hoot. If you do happen to have a decent team photo, please let Tony Johnson know so that we can examine the print and possibly enlarge it for framing and presentation to the Old Dublin. CONGRATULATIONS BERT AND JOHN Well, it was expected and now it's official. John Kerr and Bert Romeo are engaged. John, on one knee popped the question and unloaded a brilliant, three-carat diamond on Bert following the UConn victory over West Virginia. According to John, "it just seemed like the right time – you know, having the Huskies win and all." Join us in wishing the best to the two of them. An outdoor wedding is planned sometime during the 2001 season (looks like another pig roast). TRAINING SCHEDULED FOR SATURDAY MARCH 18th That's right, we are planning to have a small clinic/practice at the campus of Yale in conjunction with a Yale men's team practice. You will hear more of this as the location and times are finalized but safe to say it will be in the morning – probably around 11:00 start. In order to prepare for a good workout, Vice Captain Jim Facey has requested that all forwards be able to pass the mile run exam which will require all players to complete a one-mile run in under 13 minutes. NO FOTO FINISH! Contrary to previous statements, Mike Fotos is not leaving Connecticut and will be around to play for the Grey for at least another year. I realize this may be news to many since very few even knew that Mike was planning on leaving to begin with. After receiving his doctorate, Mike was selected to perform medical studies on a primitive tribe in the jungles of South America where they are trying to find a cure for "droopsie." This is a very common affliction of overweight elderly women who run around topless their whole life only to find that at the later stages of life, their boobs make a beeline to the ground like destabilized Alaskan Air planes. Just think, he was going to be able put that Junior Doctor kit that he received at the awards banquet to good use, but it looks like this will have to wait for now. LIFESTYLES OF THE SURGICALLY INSANE Edward L. Bodkin, 56, pleaded guilty in Huntington, Ind., to practicing medicine without a license, specifically the voluntary castrations of at least three men. Bodkin made it easier for prosecutors to do their job because he videotaped his work and preserved the physical evidence in jars he kept in his apartment. As to the patients' motives, prosecutor John Branham said, "I can't sit here as a reasonable human being and give you an intelligent answer to that." Commentary: And I thought stamp collecting was an odd hobby. I highly recommend passing on the offer of pickled eggs at Ed's house. Also, Edward has since changed his practice and is now sewing the previously cut organs onto women of the Ladies Professional Golf Association. His videos have been sent to ABC where they will be seen on an upcoming episode of America's Funniest Videos. In September, de-licensed surgeon John Ronald Brown, 77, was convicted in San Diego of second-degree murder for a botched operation that brought to light the rare malady of apotemnophilia. Those afflicted – said to be fewer than 200 people – get sexual gratification by having an arm or leg removed. The Internet underground had spread word of Brown's willingness to perform the surgery without all those embarrassing questions, such as, "why?" Commentary: Apotemnophilia is synonymous with "people who only have four orgasms." Imagine, it's about to be your third time and your choices are: A) spend the rest of your life on a wheeled stool, or B) giving up forever the ability to diddle one's self. BOTTOM OF THE GENE POOL: We've all heard the story about Joseph Kubic, Sr., 93, who was hospitalized in Stratford, Conn., after he tried to punch an additional hole in his belt by hammering a pointy-nosed bullet through it. The bullet fired, ricocheted off the table and hit him in the neck. But we have recently found out that four months later, a 19-year-old man was hospitalized in Salt Lake City after undertaking a personal investigation into the eternal question of whether it is possible to fire a .22-caliber bullet by placing it inside a straw and striking it with a hammer. Answer: sometimes (including this time); it went off and hit him in the stomach. Commentary: After last month's story about the two rump riders and their pet gerbil, Raggot (also from Salt Lake City), we have come to the conclusion that there exists no intelligent human life in Utah. Also, the injured 19-year-old has since been adopted by the Kubic family since he is obviously "mentally" related. And, he has been permanently barred from watching any cartoons starring Wiley Coyote.
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