CONNECTICUT GREY
RUGBY FOOTBALL CLUB

~ est. 1979 ~

Mountain Mist Outdoor Center
Meriden, Connecticut

The Hourglass

March 18, 1999

A Publication of the Connecticut Grey Rugby Football Club
Tony Johnson, Editor

"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups."

ANNUAL AWARDS BANQUET REVIEW

On Saturday, February 27th the Greys hosted the 1998 Annual Awards Banquet at the Waverly Tavern in Cheshire, Connecticut. It is safe to say that the banquet was not only well attended but was a rousing success thanks in part to the efforts of Ed Robinson and what appears to have been some assistance from the other six dwarfs. With over 50 members and spouses or others in attendance, the banquet was one of the most enjoyable evenings the Greys have had at least in the past year - Franconia's champagne hangovers still rate pretty high. The dinner, buffet style entrees, were excellent and with plenty to go around, there were no complaints about the quality or quantity of food which rated much higher than the pucks and dogs at Kenny G's. The other big hit was the open bar - at least for the wine and beer. Personally, I don't think I spent more than $5.00, drank all night and didn't even get into an argument. Not a normal Saturday night by any standards.

The banquet was billed as the 20th annual awards banquet which, contrary to unpopular belief (and after constant corrections that this was not going to be the 20th AAB), was only our 19th since the 20th won't be held until next January or February (or even March if this year's date is any indication). So, for those of you who really let it all out thinking this was the 20th, try to muster some more revelry to prepare yourself for next year and, hopefully we can convince Ed that it's not the 21st AAB by then. Outside of the great food and good beer (not too sure about the wine - you'll have to ask that quiche-eater Farrell) there were also some good tunes dished up by the DJ's (Donny and Marie????). Anyway, the dance floor was hoppin' with most of the dances performed by the "hen" crew (dames sans dates). Best dancer award (not official this year but under consideration for next year's bash) goes to Rooster "Travolta" Roberts - why are we not surprised? Trunks came in a close second.

Now for the awards. Many surprises and some not so surprising. The biggest surprise was that the 1998 recipients actually received their awards at the dinner, a feat which the 1997 recipients have yet to experience. Word has it that the little plaques selected for last year's awards will actually grow larger over time and hopefully in time will be as big as the awards given this year. But, that might take a few milleniums and then a few more years after that to get engraved. Also surprising was the size of the miniature monoliths given as awards. Some of the older recipients needed an extra hand to hold the awards that were slightly larger than a small Buick but with all the chrome. The winners for 1998 are as follows:

The only faux pas was the spelling of the last names on certain awards. The Flynnster obviously suffered one of his numerous brain seizures when having the Rugger Hugger award engraved as the award would have been presented to a "Bert Russo" which would have been a real trip since we don't know any Bert Russo. Also, the name on the MVP Back award was incorrectly spelled "Bud Harvey." In addition to the "big" awards, numerous members received the traditional (like once-a-decade traditional) hourglass timepiece. These were presented to many of the new players, Jim Facey and his partner, John "date boy" Dimitruck, Ian "Astaire" Roberts, Chuck "Tennessee Jed" Schutte, Tom "Rondo" Roncaioli and others too numerous to mention (or just too new to remember). This year was the first for the Mark Comen Award. This award presented in memory of Mace was given to the man who most exemplifies the quiet, demure, always present, fun loving little Smurf that epitomizes Mark's attitude and spirit. That's why I'm still trying to figure out why Guzzio got it! It will become one of the more valued awards in upcoming years. In summary, the event was a really great time and I hope the 20th next year is just as good as the 20th was this year.

PRACTICE

According to Webster's, one of the customary definitions of the word includes "the usual way of doing something." If we follow this regime then it is safe to say that there will be no one attending this weekend's practice session scheduled for 11:30 am at the Jon Benet Ramsey field in Wallingford (the little field) since we will all be doing the "usual" thing on Saturday morning and not such an unusual thing as running around, passing a ball, etc. But seriously, Captain Carr has called an all-hands practice to prepare ourselves for the opening test against Les Vieux next weekend. Get up, get out and just get there to run around for a while and then retire to Kenny G's for some soothing elixirs and the first round of sumo wrestling featuring Kenny "Jumbo-san" G against John "Microbe-san" Kerr. Let Ed Carr know that you are coming by calling him at the number listed above.

Directions to the field are as follows: From I-91 North or South, take exit 13 - at end of ramp make a right onto Rte. 5 north - take first right onto Northfield Road - just past Vinny's and just before the large Flowerland sign. Take your fourth left onto Blakeslee Road. Go one block and make a right onto Birch Drive - look for small deserted field that would appear to be a nice place for a public dump or a previous test site for grass killer.

SPRING SCHEDULE

The spring schedule has filled in quite nicely and we plan on giving anyone who can complete the entire spring slate of games without injury or fatigue the iron man award next year. This schedule is awfully tough and we will need the commitment from each and every player to make as many games as they are physically able to attend. Please, do not leave us hanging or lead us to slaughter like last fall when we literally crawled off the field after the final game of the season. Any questions about the schedule - please contact "Mountbatten" Jorgensen. And, all players must contact either Ed Carr or Tom Flynn regarding their availability for each and every game.

This schedule contains a lot of good, and a lot of bad. The good: it's a full schedule - the bad: there are several tournaments with multiple games each day. The good: we have a lot of home games, the bad: we have to shell out $250 per game for party fees. The good: we didn't schedule Boston, the bad: we didn't schedule Boston. Based on the complexity of the schedule and the difficulty of the teams we will face, I have come to one conclusion - Dean is sniffing glue.

CHESAPEAKE FESTIVAL

This may be late but it was expected. The festival over Easter at Baltimore is on. As in the past, there will be games on Good Friday and Saturday at the Four Seasons Sports Complex in Hampstead, Maryland. The Holiday Inn in Timonium will once again be the location of our camp for the weekend. Room rates are $75 plus tax and other hidden fees (usually added to the bill to pay for the removal of stains and smoke damage in Guzzio's room) and you must inform them that you are with the Chesapeake Rugby Club to get this lower rate. The number for the inn is (410) 252-7373. The format for this year is one game on Friday and one on Saturday. Teams that have been booked so far include two sides from Toronto (one is an old boys side which Chesapeake will probably play, the other is a younger side that we will probably play), Chesapeake, Monmouth (possible), Washington (also possible) and South Jersey. Based on the "possibles" it is possible that only three teams will show and we will play the usual round-robin matches on Friday, then the XL's on Saturday. Also, for those who remember a couple of years ago, South Jersey comes stacked with studs and former Eagles making the game with them a real treat. I suggest we draw SJ on Saturday - blow them off, hang out at the Inner Harbor and eat sushi! There is a game fee for the weekend and we have to ante up $1,000 as a team to enjoy the facilities and food at the Four Seasons. For all you devout Catholics - remember, on Good Friday all you will get for food is meat or some sort of dead animal fare. So, if you want to keep pure until Easter - find a Long John Silver's before you get to the field. We are also looking forward to the nature walks or swims with Bud. It's been a while since he has been out and about. If you are planning on going to Chesapeake, please call Tom Flynn at (203) 294-4263 as soon as possible to ensure we have enough for a team.

MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT

That does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Just a few comments to all of you this spring. The season is upon us. As always, we will be in the best shape of our lives. This is the 20th Anniversary year for the Club and we have great things in mind for you all. The Annual Awards Banquet was a great success, even if Shecky Johnson took the year off.

I wanted to take this opportunity to expand on some of the comments I made at the banquet. We are, without a doubt, the most successful "Old Boys" club in the east, and one of the most successful in the country. Whenever someone says that to me, I have to confess to a degree of amazement. How the hell did this happen, considering some of the characters that have passed this way over the years? But it is true.

We play an exceptionally long and competitive season for OB rugby. We have the numbers, both on the field and in the club. But our success is not simply tied to playing a good game of rugby and being pleasant fellows after the game at the drink-up, although that sets the stage. We have been successful because this club has always had a bigger picture in mind. Rugby means more than a game to the Connecticut Grey. We have made this a competitive "social" club. All our events are designed to be inclusive of our wives (if you have one), significant others (hereinafter referred to as SOs), kids, dates, and other various hangers-on. Our members actually like each other and our families, for the most part. We select for games using criteria that are almost inconceivable to a normal club side, but which are essential to our club. We are different and intentionally so. Just showing up for a game is not all that makes this a successful club and it is not enough for the future. Everyone needs to be clear about that.

Now I know we are all busy. Kids, disgruntled wives, disgruntled ex-wives, SOs, money, or lack thereof, jobs, distance, injuries and just being older all make participating in a club tough. So we are all in the same boat - quit whining. But make no mistake about it. Our success is fragile. It depends on enthusiastic participation on and off the field. It depends on leadership, creativity, good solid rugby, and pure dumb luck on occasion. This club needs the active support of all its members, or we could very well become the next Boston or Newport. We aren't in any immediate danger. I just want everyone to know that it takes a lot of effort to keep a great club like the Greys going. I love playing and I love socializing with all of you. Lets keep it up.

The Executive Committee has it in mind to make 1999 a memorable year for the Grey. Ed Robinson has some great events planned that will involve everyone and make sure that our social side continues. Dean Jorgensen has a schedule that will give you all the rugby you can stand. Ed Carr and Jim Facey will be there to drive you on to a winning season. Sandy will be there to take your money, always for good value. See the merchandise order form. Tony Johnson will be there to chronicle your successes and your foibles, and those things you did not want your wife and kids to know about. And I will be there to pester you about keeping this club the premier masters rugby club in the country.

Tom Flynn

MISCELLANEOUS

All those in favor of impeaching Flynn say Aye! Sandy Woodard (and the club) has a great deal of Greys paraphernalia for sale. There are the usual items collectively called "kit" that are available - jerseys, socks and possibly shorts are in stock and available from Sandy. Also on sale are the Perennials issue mugs with the Grey's logo, the Perennials issue polo shirts and the recently obtained 20th anniversary hats. Mugs are $15 apiece, shirts I believe are $20 and hats are some denomination that is probably much more than you will be willing to part with for such an item. Although the club is somewhat solvent for the time being, parties this spring and insurance will deplete the coffers a bit and additional funds will be required to support the events planned for the fall - you know, the 20th anniversary stuff and the second annual 20th anniversary awards banquet. Please help by getting dues into Sandy, buy a mug or two or even a hat and also, volunteer for helping out with any event or gig that we plan as a group. Remember, we are a team here! And, the funds raised by the club are used to support club activities - after-game parties, annual banquets, awards, etc. If you don't participate, you will miss out - again, you support the club and these events are for all the members - not just those who attend. Any questions please call Paul Jackson and if you can get his number please pass it along to the rest of the club. He's a really great guy to call after 2:00 in the morning.

AROUND THE FIELD

Not much to write about Grey-wise in this off season but there are a few little notes about a recent Hobos trip to Savannah. It appears several Greys tagged along for the trip to what has been deemed the second best St. Patrick's Day party in the nation. If this was the second best - I really don't think I could handle the best. Ed Carr, brother Steve, Dave Yanik, John Kerr, Caveman Conners, Joe "George Clinton" Bordieri and Tomba Roncaioli made the journey south and found great success on the field. The Hobos went 3 - 0 scoring over 60 points to 12 in the three victories. The only victory off the field was the ability to stay erect until 12:00 at night. Seriously, the evenings after the games resembled an audition night for Foster Brooks impersonators, which also meant the mornings were shear hell. The only real drawback of the weekend was the flight delay on the return trip. It appears that the Airtran jet (formerly Valuejet) was delayed for what seemed to be an eternity until minor repairs were made to the plane. Nothing major, it's just that the glue holding the engine on wasn't drying fast enough. That or there just weren't enough oxygen canisters aboard to make the flight economical. Recounting the events of the weekend and the bottomless mugs of beer, it isn't a wonder why so many Hobos have checked themselves into rehab upon their return from the "Savannah Trip." Seriously, I'm not kidding on this one! It would make a great episode for the Twilight Zone. Also, UConn men's team beat Penn State to win the college division by a wide margin.

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for awhile became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange.

He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.